Submitted by Heidi Dauberman
It was still dark at 6 am that time of year and the air was chilly and moist. Riders gathered in front of the driveway. Some of them were already as enthusiastic looking as their jerseys, others demanded to know when we’d be stopping for coffee. I’m quiet, feeling too old to bother being self-conscious in the company of strangers.
Credit: NickSS, wikipedia
None of us wanted to waste time. The name game spontaneously emerged. Each rider introduced them self only by first name. My turn came around and my mouth still halfway open, the ride leader dropped his arm around my shoulder and proudly announced, “This is Heidi. She’s a personal trainer and a Spinning teacher.”
I forced a smile and grudgingly released the expectation that I’d ride today just as myself, not in my professional role. The man at my other side turned his head my way, bared his teeth and hissed. And my lips involuntarily turned into my first real smile of the day, earlier than expected.
One sunrise and twenty miles later, we all dismounted our bikes, erected our postures, and opened our lungs to the delicious morning air. We were pleased with the time we were making and enjoying our adrenaline rush. Riders took turns into the coffee shop, supplementing the high with coffee and doughnuts and righteously discussing the mystery as to why anyone needs drugs when we have cycling and clean air. Caffeine and sugar never felt better.
We journeyed on through speckled shade forests listening to squawking ravens and giggling finches. Bambi curiously peeked around a redwood tree at us. We climbed abandon roads over golden hills as hawks and vultures argued with each other, circling the sky above. We rode though towns so small that we never had time to learn their names. We resisted being lured into the unofficial rest stop, in spite of the sign that promised to meet our every need: ” Sport Taxidermy Bait & Liquor.”
Seventy miles into our day and with a mountain climb accomplished, we reached our last rest stop only twelve flat miles from our final destination. But I knew there was no way we d forgo this stop. Some of our pack had been doing this ride for two decades and the regular participants had been reminiscing about this rendezvous since last year.
Dairy Queen.
“You go ahead, I’ll watch the bikes.” I waved them in. One by one each of my companions rejoined me under the patio umbrella carrying a blue plastic tray with paper dishes filled with dripping burgers, fragrant French fries and giant dewy beverage cups. And each one guiltily mumbled some version of the same speech, “I haven’t eaten this kind of food in nine and a half months ” My presence compelled them to justify their lunch, admitting their sins to their personal trainer. The next group of riders arrived and the ritual started again. One by one, each famished rider went though a painstaking decision making process and arrived at a similar conclusion: deep fried zucchini, onion rings, vanilla milk shake each individual delivered the required confession, varying only in the length of time by months or years since eating his or her last cheeseburger. Wishing all along that my professional identity had never been revealed so that my new friends could enjoy their meal in guilt-free peace, I finally couldn’t stand it anymore. I took off my helmet and stepped into my Monday through Friday role and began: “Look,” toggling through the displays on my heart rate monitor, “I’ve already burned over 5,000 calories today and I’m the smallest one here! ”
Everyone stopped chewing and looked up. “Five thousand?” one rider repeated in disbelief.
“You,” I pointed to the largest man in the group and the most recent confessor, “you are twice my size, I bet you’ve burned over 10,000 calories already!” Engineer that he happened to be, he was able to find the previously undiscovered calorie counter on his wrist mounted fitness GPS and indeed confirmed, “11,342 calories!”
“Our bodies are begging us for fat, protein and carbs. Now is the time for it! You can eat burgers, fries and milkshakes on a ride like this. Even if you have 1500 calories for lunch, you don’t have to feel guilty about it!” I omitted that part about how my generous portions of dried bananas and peanut butter had just as much fat and calories as a fast food meal and that I too always felt a little guilty when I ate my cycle snacks. But the body always thanked me for it.
Jaws still on pause and eyes on me, I felt the group mind will me to tell them more about how it was okay to consume the delicacies that coerced them with aroma.
“It’s not lack of will power, it is survival instinct that is demanding you to replenished your depleted bodies. You can eat like this on a long ride day and even lose weight!” That was what they were waiting to hear.
Energy from excitement and nourishment refilled the fatigued cyclists as jaws joyfully resumed chewing and questions began to fire: “How many calories are in a milkshake?”
“300-1,000 depending on the size and whether it is non-fat, low or full fat ”
“What do you eat on long rides and what is that green stuff in your water bottle?”
“Hi calorie, nutritionally dense foods like nuts and dried fruits. Diluted spinach and banana smoothie
“How do you get enough protein?”
“You can add protein powder to your smoothie if you feel you need it, but get the natural kind without sugar or artificial flavor ”
“Which is better for weight loss, working at a steady state or interval training ?”
“How do I get rid if this?” (grabbing the protruding belly and jiggling it up and down.)
I went though all the same questions and answers as I would on any given work day only this time, subjecting my companions to listen through sticky peanut butter and honey as I topped off my own energy stores.
Sated and relaxed, we cruised towards our final destination where friends with beers awaited. We made plans to travel great distances together every weekend for the rest of the season. Some of them asked me to tell them the story again about how you can eat burgers and fries and still lose weight by doing endurance rides, even only once a week. And I confidently reassured them that it was the truth.
But no, it won’t still work if you sit on the recumbent bike at the gym for 45 minutes with the newspaper and a cup of coffee. Even if it is Saturday.
