Entries RSSI miss my 20-year old, pre Multiple Sclerosis body. This was my thought while walking the second half of my morning run today. I’m not prone to whining. But heck, if I can’t vent in a blog, where else can I do it. I’m not talking about the way my body looks. I’m okay with the exterior (and posterior) of my 41-year old self. Nope. It’s the inside stuff that needs a facelift. It’s downright saggy. And because I have MS, it’s hard for me to determine if my digestive, breathing, and muscle weakness problems are caused by the disease or just the natural aging process. The fact is it doesn’t really matter. There’s not much I can do about MS or being over 40, except exactly what I’m doing. Eat right (my big downfall), exercise, and keep my stress levels low.
But the reason I run has always been less for my health and more for the way it makes me feel…which used to be good. Now it’s a little like gambling. I still bet each time I go out that I’ll catch a little glimpse of that athlete and connect with that effortless motion akin to my childhood dreams of being able to fly. Today, I couldn’t get off the ground. And maybe tomorrow will be the same. But, if I keep trying, I believe I’ll get there again. I always say that my health is where it needs to be when I can run 5 miles. Right now, I’m running downhill 1.5 and walking the remaining 1.5 back home.
That said, there’s always something good about being out. Everything’s in bloom right now in Boulder. You have to love purple and fuchsia blossomed trees. It’s like something out of a Dr. Seuss book. The Boulder Creek is also running fast. Makes a nice soundtrack with the beat of my feet. Complements the new Counting Crows playing through my iPod Shuffle. And hard as the run was, it still beats sitting in this office typing. I feel cleansed and awake. Because with running, there is an afterglow. So for now, I’ll stop my whining and bask in it for a while. Thanks for listening.
–Michelle
