Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

The ups and downs of how much body hair is too much—or too little—on men and women

By Adam W. Chase

I know I live in Boulder, Colo., where many men shave their legs for that competitive edge, but I’m still surprised at how many of my male friends do it. Over the past decades, I have shaved and haven’t, based on whether I was doing triathlons, adventure races, or only running. Yes, shaving makes it easier to deal with road rash and helps with massage, wetsuit removal, and hydrodynamics, but it also feels really good when you get into bed, especially if it’s with a woman who is also freshly shaven. But is it a turnoff when women have major stubble?

Hair or no hair, it’s a personal preference, as is the question of how high that shaving or waxing or laser “ought” to go. Questions about odor, abrasion, or whether a “Brazilian” is a full shave or just leaving a landing strip are all raised by that topic. I doubt that anyone is into stubble, as it represents an “I don’t really care that much” attitude, like dressing in a sloppy manner. I know one guy who has a fixation on “cleaning things up” and insists on shaving his date as part of the foreplay process. There is another who has such an aversion to inner thigh leg stubble that he avoids certain positions during intercourse. But complete depilation via laser seems a rather dramatic and indelible decision, like getting a tattoo. Although there is always the fallback of a merkin, a pubic “wig.” Google the term; it has an interesting history in films and high fashion.

And, certainly, the roles are easily reversed, with women having their strong preferences for hirsute men or those who are follicle-ly challenged. Similarly, I have had women tell me that they couldn’t go out with a man—namely me—who weighed less than they did or who had legs that were thinner than theirs. I’ve also heard women friends worry aloud that their arms or shoulders were getting to be too muscular looking and that the bulges might chase away potential suitors.

While such outward appearances may say something about how seriously a person takes her or his sport or personal hygiene, doesn’t it all come down to attraction and one’s feelings for the individual underneath all the physical manifestations and trappings? Hair comes and goes and so do body shapes, passions for specific sporting disciplines, and levels of fitness. But who someone really is, regardless of whether she or he shaves, waxes, plucks, or lasers, will be a constant. And if someone is that fixated on the minor appearances, then they aren’t worth the time of day, are they?